What To Do When Your Spouse Is Deployed?

Shellie guest posts for Mom It Forward today. She is a military wife and mom of three boys living in sunny Florida. She also is an avid scrap-booker, preparing to fully launch her online store Memories Of Distinction for custom memory books and cards. She blogs at Blog 4 Mom where she shares her favorite recipes, offers up product reviews and giveaways, and writes about military life. She also can be found guest blogging on the SeaWorld Dolphin Bubbles site.

Deployments Are Never Completely Easy

Communication, romance, little touches of flirtations here and there, smiles, holding hands, cuddling, and little looks that say I'm thinking about you are all important things to keep a relationship not only alive, but thriving. What do you do when you can't have that? Military couples face particular difficulty when their partners, themselves, or even both are deployed overseas for extended periods of time. I am not talking weeks or months here. I am talking years.

For some relationships, especially the newer ones, this transition is particularly difficult and even painful. A person goes through a lot during the course of a year, or even 6 months. New interests, new jobs, maturing, new schedules, and one's ever-growing independence. When your significant other is gone for months, let alone years, it is difficult for both of you to mesh your now very different perspectives, interests, and even work and school into this relationship that has basically been put on hold for a very long time.

You may say that with today's technologies communication should be easy through that time, but it's not. Granted it is much easier than it was for earlier vets, but just because you can send emails, IMs, and even the occasional web-cam session, it is difficult to keep the romance alive.

Your decision to marry was not a one-time matter, but is something that needs to be reaffirmed daily, weekly, monthly and annually. This includes the time that is spent apart due to deployments, and can often be more important than when living under the same roof. Make a game plan for staying connected, and try to do the best you can for your family. Sneak a small scrapbook, or photo “brag” book into his deployment bags. This goes a long way to lifting the spirits when he is so far away. Write often, even about the mundane and boring things. Start right away, so there is nothing forgotten, this helps him feel he is still a part of the family’s daily life, even from round the world. Don’t be afraid to complain (he wants to hear the truth and what is real, not sugar and spice) but let him know you are OK, and begin and end every time you get to talk with I LOVE YOU.

When both spouses firmly believe that marriage is a life-long commitment and they work together to strengthen that commitment, their chances of surviving even the most difficult challenges posed by military life are significantly enhanced.

Deployment Planning Stages
Military deployments are planned in stages, and reflecting on each phase can better prepare you for the anxiety that will be introduced into the relationship. Deployments consist of the following stages in one form or another: Pre-deployment, deployment, and redeployment. It behooves us as spouses to be familiar with these phases and the emotional turmoil each can bring. A plan that mirrors each stage of the deployment may help to make the deployment more manageable.

• Speak about expectations... During pre-deployment don't let shock and separation anxiety let you say things you don't mean. Discuss decision making, parenting issues, and expectations for communicating during the separation. Make a budgeting plan, update insurance forms, power of attorney documents, etc.

• Demonstrate your strength... It is important to take good care of yourself so that you can manage the stress during the deployment. Taking care of yourself actually eases your service member's mind so send a note demonstrating your strength and commitment to each other.

• Express your love...Stock up on favorite foods and the comforts of home. This is a time to enjoy each other, re-kindle, and reconnect. Focus on why you initially fell in love with your spouse and don't forget to express it.

• Tackle what's next...During the post-deployment phase try not to get caught up in unrealistic or unexpressed expectations as you get back into a new routine. Appreciate what is going well, and be willing to comfort each other and make compromises when needed as you go forward. Remind yourself not to look back, or worry about going forward just enjoy each other in the moment!

Photo credits: omniprotest, catalia, cattycamehome

How Does Blogging Help Preserve Family Relationships?

Kellan is a Texas mom of four and small business owner. She is also the writer behind the blog On The Upside where she shares daily stories about the raising of four children and surviving the humorous chaos of their everyday lives. She can also be found writing On The Flipside and a blog for mySA.

I don't think you would meet any blogger that did not agree that blogging is definitely a form of journaling. I think this is especially true for personal blogs and "Mommy Blogs". And, while there is quite a bit of controversy that surrounds "Mommy Bloggers" - where the media and critics are quick to analyze and attack a mother for documenting her children's lives and publishing pictures and stories on her blog for the whole world to see, I think it would be hard to find a "Mommy Blogger" that did not agree that blogging has changed the way we connect with our families and preserve the memories of our children.

Before blogging and digital photography, moms were snapping 35mm photos and then filing those photos in albums that she would then store in a cabinet in the family room or den. She might also have spent many hours scrapbooking to document memorable occasions such as birthdays and anniversaries. She would sit around the dinner table and offer up stories of her own childhood for her children to listen to and giggle at and then those stories might quickly be forgotten until such time as the memories were brought up again at a family party or gathering. For most people, preserving of family memories was either something that made it to the page of a photo album in the form of hundreds of untitled photos or was simply random stories recited by family members on special occasions.

Blogging definitely changed the way I document and preserve the memories of my family and the lives of my children. Through the publishing of stories that are detailed and particular (highlight specific events, dates, conversations, etc.) I have managed to document thousands of moments in my children's lives that would have never been written down and remembered if it had not been for blogging those memories daily. And, through the stories (and the photos that are very often attached to these stories), I believe I have offered my children a unique glimpse into their past and our family's history that will one day be a priceless heirloom for them and their own children. Through all of the hundreds of posts that I have published, my children have and will continue to see who they were, who they were to me and who I was, through what they read in my stories.

I think blogging my children's lives is a gift I am giving to my children. The only regret I have is that I have not had the time to blog about every single thing that happens in their lives and also that I did not start sooner. I often feel sad about the memories that might have been saved if only I had started blogging years ago.

What Happens When Life Happens to Your Relationship?

Trena Davenport guest posts, she is the force behind Marriage Zone. She is on Twitter as @marriage_zone and tweets about keeping marriage(s) alive.

Marriage is not only about keeping things hot in the bedroom but about re-inventing ourselves. Couples need to adapt to change. When two people get married they tend to experience a sense of togetherness. They can't wait to say the words "I Do". During the courtship and up until the wedding day the bride and groom minimize each other’s differences. However, after years of marriage and sometimes months after getting married wives begin to feel as if their husbands may not be as loving as he once been. Husbands may feel as if the woman is being controlling or picky. The two of you may feel that you are no longer on the same page.

What happened? Life is what happened.

The routine of everyday life sets in and unrealistic expectations about marriage surface. Reality intrudes on fantasy. During this adjustment period each other's imperfections and shortcomings are revealed. What was once viewed as cute or a minor irritation grow into aggravation and annoyances therefore, rudeness ends up replacing romance. Then, throw children into the mix and you could have a marriage heading for disaster.

Couples can begin to grow in different directions; at least that’s how it seems. Couples need to communicate their expectations and then re-access and communicate their expectations again.

Marriage Zone is about encouraging couples to re-connect. With so many vices tugging at couples such as, one or both may work outside of the home, children requiring parent’s un-divided attention, relatives or elderly parents needing attending to. Where in the world do couples find time for each other? Therefore, the creation of Marriage Zone.

Although people can purchase items from our website the site is there to help inspire married couples. It is important for couples to learn to work together while maintaining their individual identity. Husbands should respect what their wife’s contributions are to the marriage and wives should respect what their husband’s contribute as well to the marriage. This is equally true when couples own/operate a business together.

Re-connecting and putting a marriage in the (romance) zone takes commitment, understanding, forgiveness, and unconditional love. Moreover, as you grow in your marriage always lend a helping hand to other couples because it takes a village to keep a marriage in the zone.

photo credits: Ney,PhotoRita, Nattu, Jeff Weston

When Is Scrapbooking More Than Just Craft?

Elizabeth writes for Mom It Forward today. She is a super-busy mother of three boys, with one new baby due in April. When she’s not chasing after her children, she’s getting paid to sing at weddings, she's knitting, or she's scrapbooking. Elizabeth has been a Creative Memories consultant for two years (MyCMSite.com/egrant). Her blogs are: Suzy Q Homemaker and Suzy Q Crops.

The very first time I sat down to scrapbook, I was probably about 10 years old. My mother had all her old theater programs in a pile with an empty scrapbook and I asked her why she never put them in it? So I offered to do it for her. I spent time organizing each program by date and gluing them to the pages, fascinated that she had done so much before I was ever born. So of course, I had to ask for my own scrapbook.

Over the years, I only added my school awards, concert & theater programs, and movie tickets from my soon-to-be husband’s dates. It wasn’t that I planned to make scrapbooking something I do, I just found it hard to let go of things that meant a lot to me and I wanted all of those things to be in one place.

These days, scrapbooking has taken on a whole new meaning for me. Not only do I use scrapbooking as a means of preserving memories and stories of my growing family, I use it to connect with the people closest to me. Scrapbooking is not “just a craft.” It’s a social event, a reunion, or therapy.

My oldest sister and I are not close in age at all. I was still in elementary school when she graduated high school. We shared a room a few times while growing up, but there really wasn’t much that we had in common other than being a part of the same insane family. But we both started our own families around the same time and she was the one who introduced me to Creative Memories. At that time, I had no idea women actually scrapbooked together. It was always a private ritual to me, something that I never would have thought to do with other people around.

I realized then the importance of scrapbooking with others: it’s about sharing our stories. When my sister and I get together to scrapbook (and we do so on a semi-regular basis—meaning: when our children aren’t sick or driving us crazy!), it’s a time for us to catch up on each other’s lives. Even if we only get one page done during the entire time we’re together, it’s time that we’ve spent together. There’s something special about sitting down to remember those good (and sometimes horrible) times.

Scrapbooking brought me and my sister closer than we would have otherwise been, I think. Sure, we have 7 (going on 8) children between the two of us, and they all drive us crazy. Sure, we both have “interesting” family members to dish about. Getting together to actually create something with those stories is what makes our relationship even stronger.

How Can You Use Picasa to Digitally Scrapbook?

Melanie "Mommy Doodles" Guest Posts today, she is a graphic designer living and working full time in Massachusetts. Also freelances designs and maintains a fun mommy blog Mommy Doodles. She and her husband are raising two boys: a preschooler and an infant.

First, if you do not have Picasa by Google download it here: PC or MAC. It's FREE and an amazing photo-management software.

I prefer my scrapbook pages to be full of photos... This post is a brief introduction into creating collage pages with Picasa. You could take it to your own level, or keep it quick and simple!

Click on images to enlarge them - view them all here.

Choose your photos for your desired page. Select the COLLAGE button on the bottom.

Once your photos are set into the collage, you can use the pull down menu to the left to choose your preferred collage style.

By selecting the images individually, you can use the buttons above to remove undesired images. You can use the buttons below to Shuffle All or View/Edit each image.

You can also choose just one to be your center image by clicking the button on the left. On the left you can also choose your page size.

In the next image, you will see a red border around each image. You achieve this by choosing the Grid Spacing bar on the left. Background options are a color or image.

After you have your desired page layout, choose CREATE COLLAGE.

Once you locate your collage in Picasa, you can double click on the image to add type. Many other color options are available, just like a regular image.

Here is my finished collage!
Print and add to a scrapbook album of your choice!

What Are 10 Ways to Involve Your Kids in Scrapbooking?

Introducing our guest author, Jill Berry masquerades as Mom on the Run on her blog: Writing My Life One Blog At A Time. She writes for Type A Mom on mommy, children, preteen, and teen issues. She is also the Preteen Editor for Typeamom.net. She contributes to MomSpark.net, Blogher.com, and Addsyou.com. She is mom to Adventure Boy, 5; Sporty Daughter, 10; and Crafty Daughter, 13.

Let me just state at the outset that I love scrapbooking. I have created photo albums as far back as the 70s. My first album was a pink paisley album where I put the photos in the album in no particular order. This particular album brings back memories to me of (1) doing the album myself and (2) not recalling my mother telling me how to do the album. Surely, she must have wondered why I was placing my First Communion photos at the back of the album while my later in the year Brownie photos were front and center. My mother let me do the album any way I wanted to...because it was my album.

I started scrapbooking in earnest when my oldest was 4 and my then-youngest was 18 months old. I bought stickers, paper, and die-cuts for use in my scrapbooks. My oldest would watch me scrapbook. Sometimes she would ask to help. Once or twice I let her write her name, but for the most part I told her that I was doing the scrapbook. After a while she asked to do her own.

10 Tips for Scrapbooking With Kids

1. Camera—Give your child a disposable camera before a trip or special event or just for around the house. Let them take any photographs they want to, even if the photos are of shoes, the inside of the cabinet, or a nose.


2. Photographs—Let your child choose the photographs that he wants. If you are worried that your child will choose too many photos, set a limit. Tell your child that he can choose 5 or 10 photos per event. Kids need limits. Once you have told your child the rules, your child will follow them.




3. Scrapbook—A scrapbook can be as elaborate as something purchased at Michaels' or a a few pieces of paper stapled together. Your child will not care what his scrapbook looks like. Remember it is her book.

4. Supplies—If you have many scrapbooking materials, decide how many our child will get to use. For instance, if you have expensive calligraphy pens, it probably would be a good idea to keep these out of reach. Let your child use markers instead. Give your child extra stickers from sets that you no longer need.

5. Workspace—Kids need a workspace to set out their photos and photo album. You could use the kitchen table, a coffee table, or the child's desk. If your child wants to work on his project on multiple days, consider placing photographs, scrapbook, and supplies in a Rubbermaid tub or
shoe box.

6. Supervision—Scrapbooking is a great time to spend with your child. Talk to him about the photographs. Your child may not know when the photos were taken. help her put the photographs in order.

7. Teach—Show your child how to look for the most significant person, place, or thing in a photograph. Help your child crop the photograph with scissors, so that the most important person is shown. Show him how to paste the photos in the scrapbook with a glue stick or scrapbooking photo corners.

8. Journal—Show a child how to write on the scrapbook page. Depending on the age of the child, this may or may not be necessary. Older children will want to write the name of the place they visited or the people at the birthday party. Younger children may not have the writing skills necessary for this task.

9. Cleanup—Once your child is finished, it is time for cleanup. My kids hate cleanup more than anything in the world, but scrapbooking results in tiny bits of paper and photos all over the floor and table. A small Rubbermaid tub or a lunch bag is useful for collecting these bits of paper as the child works on his scrapbook.

10. Share—Once the scrapbook is completed, ask your child if they want to show it to someone: dad, grandma, teacher. Kids love to share what they have created.

Scrapbooking is a wonderful way to teach your child about life and
family. It is also a way to reinforce reading and writing skills.

Photos are examples of photos my children have taken with a disposable camera:
Wesson oil bottle, my son's feet, coffee pot, and Sesame Place mug.

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How Do You Show Your Inner Silly With Your Digital Projects?

Linda Sellers guest posts today for Mom It Forward. She is a mom of 3 teens and consultant for Rodan + Fields Skincare. She can be found blogging at Short Pump Preppy about her love of digital art and product reviews, and is the Buzz Editor for BlissfullyDomestic.com.

Kids today grow up in a digital world, and thankfully with the programs today you don't have to be the artistic type to have fun and engage with your kids. Chances are they already know more than you do. I first got involved with digital design and Photoshop because my kids played around with it when they were pre-teens. They got me started in what has become a hobby for me. And a way to connect with my kids...

We have used digital art in fun and crazy ways in our family. If you've ever seen my blog, you know I'm not afraid to Photoshop my head on anything. This began as a family tradition making placecards for holiday meals. Technology has improved and so have the cards. Mr. Turkey looks better from year to year! (I know, the "izzles" were big a few years ago...I make no apologies.) The kids pick out their head shot and whoever has the time, designs and prints the cards. Guests find it quirky, but the "non-traditional" is so much more fun for kids, and really sets a fun tone to the holiday meal.

...why yes, thank you, I do look better with age...

Inexpensive or free programs like photobucket and gimp provide a lot of the same photo manipulation tools that Photoshop does. Instead of buying traditional cards, taking the family photo and sending the classic cookie cutter versions, (which are wonderful and Grandma probably needs one of those), engage the kids in some digifun with the holiday cards. I had the kids each make their own portrait with a user friendly filter and print cards for relatives one Valentine's Day. This was a group project and they worked together to create the designs. Even the Big Guy! They turned out so cute, we printed them and framed them for our gameroom hall.

Family includes pets! Kids love animals and what better way to engage them than having them decorate photos of their animals. Look for free clipart online or check out inexpensive clipart sites like my favorite iclipart.com. Have the kids actually draw on the photos in free programs like paint. Frame fun pictures of the family pets for the kids rooms or common areas. Many people have photo printers or access to inexpensive printing and how cute to frame your cat in a bowtie or hat?

Sometimes it's the quirky, fun, and unexpected that will stand out in your kids minds and make the memories they take forward. My daughter is now giving similar gifts. Her friends photoshopped as the Spice Girls was a hit as a holiday gift. We do what we do for our family and friends, to connect and bring happiness into our lives and the lives of our loved ones.

Don't be afraid to think outside the traditional with digital art. Even when it seems they are laughing at you, I'll bet they are also laughing with you... So put on your silly face and create some fun memories.

How Do You Incorporate Chocolate With Your Family?

Vanessa , today's guest post author, is a mother of two girls and the founder of I Never Grew Up, a website to help parents educate, care for and entertain their children. She is a contributor at Blissful Kids at Blissfully Domestic, Little Window Shoppe and Today's Mama.


As a family, we love to cook together, it is a wonderful time to have fun and bond as a family. Our family's favorite ingredient to cook with, hands down, is chocolate. When we plan our celebration for Valentine's Day we think of chocolate first! Our favorite chocolate desserts to cook as a family are: Flour-less Chocolate Cake, Molten Chocolate Lava Cake, Chocolate Brownies, Chocolate Chip Cookies and Chocolate Truffles. Cooking with your children has numerous benefits: It teaches your children mathematics, gives your child a sense of pride and accomplishment, will help your children try new things and they are also more likely to eat what they help make. (Not that it is to hard to talk your children into eating chocolate. :) )


In our home we have a silly tradition of "dolling" ourselves up for cooking special treats. We wear fun bright aprons, put on our favorite lip gloss and dance around to our favorite music. Our last chocolate recipe that we made with love was Chocolate Oreo Truffles.




Tips for Cooking with Your Children

1. Prepare by reading the recipe together and gathering the ingredients and tools before beginning to cook.
2. Allow your child to choose a recipe, to give them a sense of control and self worth.
3. Laugh and Have Fun! Try to be patient, have a sense of humor and enjoy yourself!

Check out these fun Valentine's Day ideas from Vanessa at INeverGrewUp.net to help you have a wonderful holiday with your children:

* Heart Photo Arrangement
* I Love You So Much Game
* Family Heart Game
* Chocolate Oreo Truffles

How Does Chocolate Affect Your Emotions?

Introducing Guest Author: Erin Chase! She blogs about healthy eating and frugal meal planning at 5DollarDinners.com. Besides saving money and cooking, she enjoys running, scrapbooking and yes, the occasional truffle!

I Love me some chocolate. I do.

• I love the dark stuff (healthy, right?).
• I love the milky stuff.
• I love truffles.
• I love it in coffee.

In fact, it's the only way I drink coffee; heavily "choco-lated!" I love watching it bubble and cascade in a chocolate fountain. I enjoy dessert fondue with angel food cake and strawberries dipped into perfectly rich chocolate dipping sauce. If it's got chocolate on the label, chances are I will not be able to say no!

Here is a little glimpse into my love affair with chocolate:

1. Chocolate makes me HAPPY. Biting into a raspberry filled truffle fills my mind and body with thoughts and feelings of jubilation. Just thinking about my favorite truffle makes me salivate. The flavor, the texture, the whole experience of eating my favorite piece of chocolate makes me Happy. In moderation, chocolate makes me Happy.
2. Chocolate makes me MAD. Occasionally the "need" for a peanut butter cup or a chocolate kiss turns into a bag full binge-fest. I will be the first to admit it. I have eaten an entire bag of chocolate chips. In one sitting. With no raging hormones involved! Not eating chocolate in moderation makes me Mad.
3. Chocolate REWARDS me. It really is a beautiful thing to treat oneself to something enjoyable. Chocolate can be very rewarding. A way to congratulate yourself for a job well done. I am thankful that I can be Rewarded by chocolate.
4. Chocolate CONFUSES me. I am befuddled by my "need" for chocolate. When both mind and body are taken over in a powerful hormonal wave, leading you WAY out of your way to get your hands on some. Even just one little piece. Or better yet, an entire bag. Your body screaming at you for more. Then the craving is satisfied. The guilt sets in. Why? Why did I just eat that entire bag? Shame. My body craved just one piece, but would not be satisfied with nothing short of an entire bag. I'm left Confused.

Why is it that chocolate can affect us in so many different ways? With yet another "chocolate" holiday just around the corner, I hope to eat just 2 or 3 truffles and feel HAPPY. And I hope you can too!

Photo Credit: FoNgEtZ

Do You Have a Love Affair With Chocolate?

Emily Hill guest posts today for Mom it Forward. By day she is the mother of four children; by night (okay, and day too) she is the co-owner of georgie tees and a contributing writer for Boutique Cafe, Polliwogged and her company's blog, freshly baked. She also does freelance communications work for a variety of clients including Rain.

In my opinion, if you have to ask yourself this question then the answer is "no." Those of us who have a true addiction to love affair with chocolate don't stop thinking about it or indulging in it long enough to question our relationship with it. I have no idea when the affair first started but I'm sure I was underage when it happened. When other kids were sucking on their Now and Laters and chomping on that disgusting individually wrapped bubblegum, I was hitting the chocolate Charleston Chew pretty hard. I then moved on to 3 Musketeers, Twix , Almond Joy (I switched to Mounds later in life when I grew to appreciate dark chocolate) and those tasty Junior Mints. And that's just candy.

I've managed to keep this love affair going for over 30 years now. My secret? The same secrets to keeping any relationship strong:

• trying something new (still not a fan of white chocolate);
• mixing it up (from scratch or the box, either will do when a brownie craving hits);
• even experimenting a little here and there (braving chocolate-covered potato chips was SO worth it!).

Oh, and I almost forgot about the all-important date night.
Chocolate and I try to have at least two—okay, who am I kidding—seven date nights a week. The one-on-one time is a great way to reconnect with each other and for me to wind down after what is usually a very long day with the kids.

Chocolate is there for me even when my tastes start to change. I used to be big into milk chocolate but as I matured so did my palette. Somewhere in my 20's I started making my way over to the dark side, and that was before all the health benefits about dark chocolate came to light. (Antioxidants are one of my favorite ways of justifying the affair.) Treats like Dove Dark Chocolate squares and Costco's Truffettes de France (French truffles) have only strengthened my desire for all things dark...chocolate. But before you think I am just a candy kind of girl I want you to know I'm very open minded when it comes to my love affair with chocolate. I'm happy to indulge in decadent fudge-filled layer cakes, triple chocolate brownies, Breyer's Brownie Mud Pie ice cream (I could eat the entire carton), chocolate mousse pie and even the occasional chocolate cheesecake. Did I mention low-fat Oreos (low fat means you can eat more, right?),Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies and s'mores?

I could go on and on but I like to keep some parts of my love affair private; it really is better for everyone involved. One thing I am sure about, my addiction to love of chocolate didn't skip a generation. Just look at how excited my youngest daughter was on her first birthday just before she covered herself in her chocolate-drizzled birthday treat. Yep, she gets that from me.

Photo Credit Coolmitch

How Does Chocolate Compare to Social Media?

Jessica Smith guest posts today for Mom it Forward! She is Chief Mom Advisor and the woman behind the idea for MomForce.com, Chief Mom Officer for Wishpot.com, and works with big brands including Walmart and Ford. Jessica offers a personal glimpse into her life as a mom and virtual executive at JessicaKnows.com. Jessica enjoys the best of both worlds, motherhood and career, at home in the DC Metro area with her husband and young son.

With Valentine's Day just over a week away, many are thinking of gifts and many of those are going for the class stand-bys: flowers, jewelry, and chocolate.

While I love receiving any of the three, it's the latter that I get excited about the most. Chocolate has been one of my best friends for quite some time now and I'll take it any way I can get it: milk, dark, swirled with caramel, in my coffee, chipped, truffled, and mint. (My favorite? Dark, the darker the chocolate the better.)

So it's no wonder that social media does the same for me that chocolate does.

You know those boxes of chocolates with all different shapes and sizes? It's the type of box with a "map" of the contents, a guide to the delectable fillings and nuts inside? Sometimes I study the different flavors and deliberately choose which confections I'll try that day. However, other days I'm feeling adventurous and I pay no attention to the inside top of the box. Sometimes diving in, eyes practically closed, and risking a flavor you're unfamiliar with is the way to go. In fact, you might discover that if you had looked at the box and saw "Cayenne Pepper Jelly" you would have thrown that chocolate out with disdain. But because you took the risk, took a blind bite, it's now the one chocolate that you seek out.

The same idea applies to Twitter, Facebook and LinkedIn. Sure, if you're a cake baker you'll naturally seek out other cake bakers and people that like to eat cake. However, you might find that the snake charmer that just started following you on Twitter the day before is the one that makes you laugh more. This could result in you stressing less, sleeping more, and ultimately being able to make more cakes!

Like chocolate, social media can brighten your day, give you a boost, comfort, and inspire. The jury is still out though if too much can give you heartburn.

photo credit wikipedia

What’s Better, Love or Chocolate?

You had to think about it didn't you?

Chris Perrin Guest Posts Today for Mom it Forward. He is a professional food writer who lives and writes in Overland Park, KS (a suburb of Kansas City.) His passion for food began when he cooked in the kitchen with his father who still is a wonderful cook. He uses the kitchen as classroom, therapy, science lab, and a way to connect with his wife and son. (He's also our first Male Guest Post!) You can check out his writing at Blog Well Done.


The answer to this question is more important than you might think. I knew I was going to marry my wife shortly after she told me that loving me was slightly better than eating Oreos. I had recently come to the decision that I would rather be with her than watch Star Wars, so, too, had come to realize what we had was Real. Still, the fact that we could watch Star Wars together and eat Oreos made us both feel a lot better about the journey ahead of us.

But I digress.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, millions of people in the Western World (not just Americans like me, but French, Dutch, Swiss, English, and so on) will be hitting the stores looking for the perfect chocolate gift for their significant others. This search will be undertaken by guys because showing up without chocolate is grounds for sleeping on the couch and by the gals so they can eat what they got their guys.

It’s also important because chocolate and love just seem inextricably linked. It’s partially a cultural thing. It’s just tradition for Westerners to give chocolate to the ones they love. It’s also a culinary thing. Think of the most decadent, rich, creamy dessert you’ve ever had and nine-times-out-of-ten, it’s made with chocolate.

You may have already heard, but it’s a biological thing, too. You ever eat chocolate and feel better? That’s because chocolate releases endorphins in the brain, chemicals responsible for your sense of well-being and happiness. They’re the same chemicals released during sex (and also when you do heroin and eat dill pickles, too.)

Most importantly, though, chocolate is a girl and a guy thing. It something that couples can enjoy together as a fondue, something to dip strawberries in, a must-have for cookies, or an ice cream. Since, I’ve always believed that couples (and families) who cook together stay together, a rich chocolaty cake or even a basic chocolate chip cookie is great relationship glue: something that can be made, and then devoured, together.



So now that you’ve had time to think about it. Which is better love or chocolate? Maybe it’s love, maybe it’s chocolate, and maybe it depends on the day. Chocolate can’t break your heart, but it has had difficulty saying “I love you” since the 60s. Love is a blessing, but it’s difficult, too.

You know, either way you answered, this Valentine’s Day and for every day the rest of the year, I hope you have lots and lots of both.

Photo Credits
Jovike, MichealAllroy, pussnboots, islandjoe

How Can You Create a Giving Attitude With Your Children?

LaSara Firefox guest posts today for Mom It Forward, she is a MPNLP, coach, trainer, and author. Through her website, LaSarafirefox.com, She helps clients find balance in their lives, and alignment with their personal and family-held values. She’s wife to an outstanding man, and mom to two brilliant girls. (This article is an excerpt, you can read it in it's entirety.)

Even when funds are tight, giving reminds us of how much we have, and how fortunate we are.

While coming face to face with money-problems can be a challenging experience, being able to do something about it is a saving grace.
With our nation in the grasp of some hard financial times, many of us are holding back on the consumptive aspect of the season. What better way than giving, to remind us what we've got?

1. Cull/weed household belongings and take them to the local shelter or women's center.
An easy starting point is to cull or weed your household goods. While you're at it, you can suggest that your kids do the same, and have them decide what they're willing to part with to help a kid in need.
If your kids are ready for the experience, they may want to participate in the delivery of items, too. My older daughter who's 11 asked to come along on the next drop off.

2. Host a Potlatch and take all left-over items to the charity or service of your choice.
The potlatch ceremony is also called a give-away. Potlatch comes from the indigenous people of the Pacific Northwest coastline. In a potlatch, you give away your belongings as a celebration of your abundance. In north-western native culture, the potlatch consisted of every home in the village putting belongings outside for the the taking. The one who gave the most, as opposed to the family who HAD the most, gained the highest status.Invite your friends to bring belongings to offer, and to take what they need from what others are giving away. At the end of the potlatch, invite your friends to leave all extra items, and take them to your local shelter or favorite charity.

3. Help your kid come up with ways to help humanity.
Food drives, clothing drives, penny drives, quilt drives, coat drives, and more. There are so many ways to help. What are some creative ways your child can brainstorm to gather resources together and offer them to those less-fortunate? For maximum impact on your kids sense of service, allow him or her to offer ideas, and do your best to support them. The more empowered your kid is to participate in grateful giving, the more organic and integrated the experience becomes.
Recently, my 11 year old decided to bring her change jar - a huge pickle jar with a good start on coins - to her classroom for a change drive. It was fully her idea, start to finish.

4. Offer service at your local soup kitchen.
Our local soup kitchen offers a family lunch service before the general lunch service. While the general service might be a little risky to take kids to, the family service is a great way for kids to come face to face with those they are helping.
Ask the kitchen if you can bring a dish, or home made cookies or something easy. Your child's sense of accomplishment and generosity will be even larger if they have had a hand in creating the food they're offering out.

5. Want to make it international, yet very personal? Microfinancing is a great option!
Microfinancing is a great way to involve your family in the international picture of wealth distribution, resources, and generosity. Getting into microfinancing is a great opportunity to talk to your kids about currencies, and how an American dollar goes a lot farther in a third-world country. It's also a great opportunity to illustrate the dire financial conditions in other countries, while still illustrating the fact that we are not powerless to create change. For example, $150 goes a long way in the Philippines. The listing below is from Kiva.org:

"Vicenta Duron is 52 years old ... She tills a small parcel of land, which she inherited from her father. Her life is in farming and she loves growing crops, especially rice. ...Vicenta needs a loan of $125 to purchase sacks of certified seed and fertilizers. She also plans to open a store where she can sell her farm produce, and increase her profits to support her family."
-Kiva.org loan request

For additional information see: www.microfinancegateway.org.